Scene I
Place : Outside the Great Pyramid, Giza Egypt
Time : 2566 BC
Personnel : Kapheres (Stretcher Bearer 1)
Muni (Stretcher Bearer 2)
Khufu has just died and has been placed on a stretcher awaiting internment in the Great Pyramid.
Kapheres : What now?
Muni : Well, we're going to carry him up to the entrance and inter him. What else?
Kapheres : Why didn't they make some steps up? It looks a little slippery.
Muni : Someone's bringing some ladders. We'll just have to make do.
Kapheres : Thirty years in the making, and they forgot about getting him in?
Muni : Ok. It was an oversight. Right?
Kapheres : My back still hurts from Sneferu. Three times before he decided which one was for him.
Muni : Stop complaining and just lift.
Scene 2
Place : At the secret door at the entrance to the Great Pyramid.
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Kapheres : This thing is 400 feet high and they built a doorway for dwarves. What goes?
Muni : Must have been an oversight. Shut up and lift.
Scene 3
Place : The Subterranean Chamber
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Kapheres : I feel like a mole. Why didn't these guys make the Descending Passage big enough to walk down?
Muni : Stop complaining. Watch your head.
Kapheres : So where will we put him?
Muni : There's been a change of plans. He's going back up.
Kapheres : Back up where?
Muni : To some secret passage. Come on, lift!
Scene 4
Place : The Entrance to the Ascending Passage
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Kapheres : You've got to be joking. We've got to lift him up through there?
Muni : Mmm. Well, that's the order.
Kapheres : Did you bring some ropes?
Muni : Wait here. I'll go get some.
Scene 5
Place : The Granite Plugs
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Kapheres : It's a bit tight in here. Why so small?
Muni : Well, some granite plugs are going to be dropped down later on and fill the gap.
Kapheres : Who's dropping them down?
Muni : We are.
Kapheres : Tell me that you're not serious. How are we going to get out?
Muni : Another secret passage.
Scene 6
Place : The Queen's Chamber Entrance
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Kapheres : What now?
Muni : Not sure. It was supposed to be straight ahead but I think there's been another change of plans and maybe it's up there somewhere.
Kapheres : Well, why didn't they make a normal step? Why so high?
Muni : I don't know. Come on, lift!
Scene 7
Place : The Grand Gallery
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Kapheres : What's with these guys? Everything else fits dwarves and now this thing is huge. Why the change?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : And why so steep?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : And what are all these socket holes for?
Muni : Stop it, will you! I don't know.
Scene 8
Place : The Step
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Kapheres : Here we go again. Why so high?
Muni : Shut up and lift!
Kapheres : What's with all the erosion?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : This is getting stranger and stranger.
Scene 9
Place : The Antechamber
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Kapheres : So now after gargantuan, we're back to ridiculously small?
Muni : Looks like it.
Kapheres : So, how are we going to get him through there?
Muni : You push and I'll pull.
Scene 10
Place : The Portcullises
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Kapheres : What are those things?
Muni : Portcullises.
Kapheres : What for?
Muni : To stop tomb robbers.
Kapheres : But you can crawl over the top.
Muni : Stop being so pedantic.
Kapheres : How many?
Muni : Three.
Kapheres : So how are we going to get him through?
Muni : Well, we'll just have to haul him over the top, I guess.
Scene 11
Place : Entrance to King's Chamber
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Kapheres : Now what?
Muni : Just through the rabbit hole and we're in.
Kapheres : Great. Can hardly wait.
Muni : Stop whinging and drag!
Kapheres : Just a question?
Muni : What?
Kapheres : If they didn't want anyone to disturb Khufu, why didn't they just dig a very deep hole and lower in the coffer and build the pyramid on the top?
Muni : Why?
Kapheres : In that way, with no passages, no nothing, nobody could have ever found him. No need for secret passages, no tomb robbers, no bad backs.
Muni : Oh, shut up, you simpleton!
lover
Place : Outside the Great Pyramid, Giza Egypt
Time : 2566 BC
Personnel : Kapheres (Stretcher Bearer 1)
Muni (Stretcher Bearer 2)
Khufu has just died and has been placed on a stretcher awaiting internment in the Great Pyramid.
Kapheres : What now?
Muni : Well, we're going to carry him up to the entrance and inter him. What else?
Kapheres : Why didn't they make some steps up? It looks a little slippery.
Muni : Someone's bringing some ladders. We'll just have to make do.
Kapheres : Thirty years in the making, and they forgot about getting him in?
Muni : Ok. It was an oversight. Right?
Kapheres : My back still hurts from Sneferu. Three times before he decided which one was for him.
Muni : Stop complaining and just lift.
Scene 2
Place : At the secret door at the entrance to the Great Pyramid.
Kapheres : This thing is 400 feet high and they built a doorway for dwarves. What goes?
Muni : Must have been an oversight. Shut up and lift.
Scene 3
Place : The Subterranean Chamber
Kapheres : I feel like a mole. Why didn't these guys make the Descending Passage big enough to walk down?
Muni : Stop complaining. Watch your head.
Kapheres : So where will we put him?
Muni : There's been a change of plans. He's going back up.
Kapheres : Back up where?
Muni : To some secret passage. Come on, lift!
Scene 4
Place : The Entrance to the Ascending Passage
Kapheres : You've got to be joking. We've got to lift him up through there?
Muni : Mmm. Well, that's the order.
Kapheres : Did you bring some ropes?
Muni : Wait here. I'll go get some.
Scene 5
Place : The Granite Plugs
Kapheres : It's a bit tight in here. Why so small?
Muni : Well, some granite plugs are going to be dropped down later on and fill the gap.
Kapheres : Who's dropping them down?
Muni : We are.
Kapheres : Tell me that you're not serious. How are we going to get out?
Muni : Another secret passage.
Scene 6
Place : The Queen's Chamber Entrance
Kapheres : What now?
Muni : Not sure. It was supposed to be straight ahead but I think there's been another change of plans and maybe it's up there somewhere.
Kapheres : Well, why didn't they make a normal step? Why so high?
Muni : I don't know. Come on, lift!
Scene 7
Place : The Grand Gallery
Kapheres : What's with these guys? Everything else fits dwarves and now this thing is huge. Why the change?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : And why so steep?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : And what are all these socket holes for?
Muni : Stop it, will you! I don't know.
Scene 8
Place : The Step
Kapheres : Here we go again. Why so high?
Muni : Shut up and lift!
Kapheres : What's with all the erosion?
Muni : I don't know.
Kapheres : This is getting stranger and stranger.
Scene 9
Place : The Antechamber
Kapheres : So now after gargantuan, we're back to ridiculously small?
Muni : Looks like it.
Kapheres : So, how are we going to get him through there?
Muni : You push and I'll pull.
Scene 10
Place : The Portcullises
Kapheres : What are those things?
Muni : Portcullises.
Kapheres : What for?
Muni : To stop tomb robbers.
Kapheres : But you can crawl over the top.
Muni : Stop being so pedantic.
Kapheres : How many?
Muni : Three.
Kapheres : So how are we going to get him through?
Muni : Well, we'll just have to haul him over the top, I guess.
Scene 11
Place : Entrance to King's Chamber
Kapheres : Now what?
Muni : Just through the rabbit hole and we're in.
Kapheres : Great. Can hardly wait.
Muni : Stop whinging and drag!
Kapheres : Just a question?
Muni : What?
Kapheres : If they didn't want anyone to disturb Khufu, why didn't they just dig a very deep hole and lower in the coffer and build the pyramid on the top?
Muni : Why?
Kapheres : In that way, with no passages, no nothing, nobody could have ever found him. No need for secret passages, no tomb robbers, no bad backs.
Muni : Oh, shut up, you simpleton!
lover